Tips to Ease a Divorce

Understand this is a painful time for everyone involved, especially the kids.

Children often think they are the reason for a divorce, Make sure and reassure your children they are not the reason, and tell the how much they are loved.

Allow your children to voice their feeling and opinions. Older children will probably show anger, this is normal and should be accepted.

Never speak negatively about the other parent.

Establish a routine your children feel comfortable with and stay consistent with it.

Seek support for your self as well as you children.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Dating with a Child

Dear Single Parent,

Keep in mind that there are not many people willing to take on the adventure of dating a single parent. Be patient with your child and your partner, they will both need sometime to get adjusted to each other.

Here are some techniques I personally have found helpful.

 Arrange a day for your new partner and your child to get to know each other.

Have dinner together, make everybody help prepare the meal and allow your child to pick dessert. If your child does not feel up to helping with dinner do not force him to help, it will only make your child more uncomfortable.

If you and your partner are discussing moving in together, do not forget to include your child in the decisions. Ask your child how he feels. Try to stay in your home if at all possible.

Once everybody is moved in and settled, try to get your partner to help with everyday routines, have your partner help your child with his homework.

Try to keep your regular activities with your child, if every Saturday you eat cereal and watch cartoons with your son, then keep this routine up.

Try to be sensitive to everyone's feelings and things should go smoothly, Don't forget yourself! Take regular bubble baths!

 

 

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Daddy Tip

My daughter Clara would come to visit me on the weekends. A few hours into our visit my daughter would cry for her mom. This really hurt my feelings but I understood the bond my daughter had with her mom. Before my daughter arrived for her next visit I placed a picture of her mom on a bulletin board in her room. I explained to Clara that we needed to take a picture to add to the board every weekend. I also explained if she wanted to bring a picture of herself or her mom then we would keep adding the pictures. Before I knew it the pictures spread to all four walls. My daughter no longer cries for her mom while visiting me and now I have pictures of all the moments I would have regularly missed out on.

Ted Father to Clara age 6

 

 

Some Tips On Step Parenting.

  1. Try not to rush the relationship with the child, it takes a long time to build a relationship. Keep in mind the child could have negative or confused feelings, the child will be attached to both parents and could feel you are trying to take the place of the absent parent. Go slowly and build a friendship first.

  2. Try not to parent the child it will only confuse the child further. Allow the biological parents to handle all disciplining.

  3. Have regular family meetings, let the child know his/her voice will be heard and respected.

  4. Get active with the child and your new spouse.

  5. Take a parenting class or read a parenting book.

  6. Always be respectful of the child's relationship to the absent parent.

  7. Never talk negatively about the absent parent in the presence of the child.

 

   

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